Volvo chunks
by itsS.Abitches
Summary: Bella finally gets to ride in edward volvo but when she comes home and tells Edward that shes crashed it. What would edward do. i feel ashamed for doing this again but its fun so i am not promising to not do another one. sorry Voilence... Hehe
1. Chapter 1

Volvo Chunks

**Summary**: O.m.g! Bella finally gets to ride in Edwards Volvo and what I mean by ride, I mean get behind the wheel but when she loses control and Edward pretty shiny Volvo get crushed how did he react.(Not in a good way if you're wondering.)To notify you this is what happens after breaking dawn when Bella starts learning how to drive fast. Warning: I am a twilight fan myself so I feel very stupid for writing this. Sorries! I might make more though I don't know why it's just fun.

**Characters: **

Bella: The drunken dummy who messes up her boyfriend's car.

Edward: The angry abusive sexy-dude who sparkles.

Jacob: The sarcastic dumb zz who gets on everyone's nerves.

Emmett: Same as Jacob.

Rosalie: The perky blonde who is about to get bitch slapped.

Esme: The very nice lady who finally gets mad for once!

Carlisle: The doc who has compassion or whatever.

Renesesme: The child of Edward and Bella and the one who has real since.

Jasper: Constipated dude.

Alice: Shopaholic

(At the Cullen's house)

Edward: Bella close your eyes.

Bella: Why?

(Edward waits impatiently)

Bella: Fine. *Bella closes I eyes*

Edward: Okay hold my hand *Edward holds out hand Bella grabs it*

Edward:*Sarcastically* Try not to fall.

Bella: Ha!

(Bella and Edward go outside, Edward tells Bella to open eyes.)

Edward: Surprise! *Edward points to his Volvo*

Bella: Your Volvo is the surprise?

Edward: Yep, cool huh?

Bella: W.T.F?! Edward I thought it was going to be something I didn't see.

Edward: You see it but did you ever drive it? *Edward winks*

Bella: Your serious I can really drive it?

Edward: Yes you can love.

Bella:*Smiles then kisses him* Thanks baby, this is so cool and I need to practice my speed.

(Bella gets into car and Edward watches her drive away meanwhile Jasper plays chess with Emmett)

Emmett: W.T.F I should have had check mate!

Jasper: Don't hate because I can play chess better then you.

Emmett: Yeah right, you might have won one game but I'm going to win the others.

*Edwards enters"

Edward: You would have one if you wasn't so concentrated on screwing Rosalie.

Emmett: *Grimaces* that reminds Me.*Emmett runs up the stairs*

Edward: Horny cow.

Jasper: As much as you and Bella get it on, you can't be talking.

*Alice enters*

Alice: Edward I had a vision, Bella going to crash your Volvo.

*Edward laughs*

Edward: Yeah right, Bella should be driving home right now.

Alice: More like walking.

Edward: Whatever Alice

(Edward goes back outside and Bella walks up to him)

Edward: Where's the car?

Bella: About that, ummm it squashed against a tree.

Edward: *Edward screams* what!!!!!!!!!!!

To be continued…………………


	2. Reaction

**Volvo Chunks Part.2 **

**Warning:** If you feel offended by everything that's going to be said on this parody, I apologize because I do the same thing when everyone's saying things about them but I guess that rubbed on me. Sorries. Plus parody is going to have some stuff in it even if you don't like it. (For crying out loud)

**Summary: How Edward reacts when Bella Freaks up his car.**

**(Please note that this is where we left off.)**

**Dictionary: ***Actions* When you see those stars that means

There doing something.

(Settings) this will come up when they went somewhere of moved to another room.

Speak: What the person is saying.

**Edward:***Angry as hell* W.T.F Bella how in the hell did that happen.

**Bella:***Makes her confused retarded look and bites her lip for the millionth time* I was driving it and everything was going so well at first, and then that's when I drove to the drug store and picked up some bears for me and you.

**Edward:** Where's the pack of beer Bella?

**Bella:***** **Making a dumb drunk face* I drunk it all silly, He ha, and then when I was in your car I started drinking it all and it was goooooood, that's when Bam booom Crackle Tackle. And that's all I could remember.

**Edward:** How in the hell can your stupid but get drunk you're a vampire.

**Bella:*******Tries to make self look sexy, even if she turned out to be looking like a horny cow* The Phlooresence.

**Edward:***** **real pissed* that was a 100Million car dammit!

**Bella: ***Laughs like a drunken hobo*

**Edward:** I am going to kill you! *Edward chokes Bella until her head come clean off*

**Bella:**** ***Screams and laughs at same time*

**Edward:** That's what you get from wrecking my ride home dog.

*Edward smiles his smile Bella loves but he was so angry it made him look like an rapist and he ripped more of her and then put her in the fire.*

**Bella:** *Yelps* I will get you Ed- *and she's dead*

The Freaking end.

*This could have been a little funnier but I was being retarded and rushed threw it* Oh sorry there was suppose to be other characters in the story but it was hard to fit them in the rest of the story so just Scratch those names that are not mentioned out.


End file.
